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8 Essential Mindset Shifts

For Sustainable Weight Loss (And Life)

Hey friend,

Something interesting occurred to me today...

Most of the coaching conversations we have with clients aren’t about food, workouts, hydration, or step goals.

We coach on those all the time, but the truth is:

👉 Those things are relatively easy to learn.
👉 It is often mindset is what makes or breaks your results.

A person could binge-watch our entire weight loss curriculum in a day. But there’s a world of difference between knowing what to do and consistently doing it.

And that’s where our overactive “monkey brains” get in the way—overthinking, doubting, distracting, worrying, and resisting.

So in today’s Tuesday Deep Dive, I want to share 8 of the most important mindset shifts that have changed my life, and that we coach our clients through—shifts that don’t just improve results, but radically reduce how much of a grind the process feels like.

Let’s dive in.

Motivation Is Made, Not Found

“I know what to do... I just need the motivation to do it!”

Sound familiar? Most people believe motivation comes before action.

But after working with hundreds of clients (and overcoming my own excuses), I can confidently tell you:

👉 Action creates motivation.

Just like with energy.

The more sedentary you are, the more tired you feel. But client after client has told me that even though they might not have felt like going for a walk or doing a workout, they usually feel good and energized after they do it.  

Motivation works the same way.

Waiting for motivation? You’ll be waiting a long time.
Take action—even small action—and you’ll feel your energy, self-belief, and motivation grow.

In truth, many people don’t lack motivation—they’re just overstimulated and distracted by junk dopamine sources:

• Netflix

• Doomscrolling

• Snacking

• Numbing

When you remove those—and start doing things that align with your values—the results, confidence, and positive emotion create a feedback loop of energy and momentum.

That’s real motivation.

Boredom Is a Superpower

We often blame a lack of time or motivation when in truth...

👉 We’re just not bored enough.

When you eliminate the many high-dopamine, low-value activities that keep us distracted—endless scrolling, junk food, alcohol, netflix, online shopping — you create space.

At first? You’ll feel restless. Bored.

And that boredom might be REALLY uncomfortable.

But then, as long as you keep those junk dopamine activies out of the picture...

You’ll start reaching for the things you’ve wanted to be doing all along:

• Journaling

• Walking

• Working out

• Prepping meals

• Reading or reflecting

Boredom isn’t the enemy.

It’s the empty space where new, life-giving habits can finally compete and take root.

It's like the beautiful plants in your flower garden.  

If you don't remove the weeds, they can choke out the flowers and keep them from thriving.

But if you keep those weeds out, your flowers will grow big and beautiful with deep roots.  

If you struggle with getting around to all the things that you need and want to do for your health, remove all the other junk options and let the space and boredom drive you to the RIGHT activities.  

Want to see how I do this? Check out the R.E.D. List Method—my go-to system for clearing out the clutter so boredom can do its job.

You Don’t Need to Be Worthy—You Need to Become Worthy

Worthiness trips people up all the time.

Some feel unworthy of even starting.

Others make real progress—only to sabotage themselves before reaching their goal, questioning whether they can actually do it… or whether they even deserve to.

Here’s the truth:
Weight loss is not emotional. It’s math.
Calorie deficit = weight loss. Period.

You don’t need to feel worthy to take the right actions.

You don’t need to wait until your mindset is perfect or your confidence is rock solid.

You just need to give yourself permission to let your foot off the brake.

Now—keeping the weight off long-term?

That’s where a different kind of worthiness comes in.

This is one of those chicken-or-the-egg situations.

Most people think they need to feel worthy first… then they’ll finally be able to show up and take all the right actions to get what they want.

But that’s not how it works.

If you succeed, it won’t be because someone deemed you worthy.
(Not even me… though if that’s what you need—consider yourself officially deemed worthy by your coach 💪🏻)

If you succeed, it will be because of what you learn, what you practice, and who you become in the process.

If you haven’t reached your goal or sustained it yet, it’s not because you’re broken.

It’s because you haven’t yet developed the:

• Knowledge

• Skill

• Resilience

• Identity

...required to maintain that goal long-term.

Technically… you’re not worthy...yet.

But guess what?

That worthiness?

It’s not out of reach. It’s waiting for you.

The process is open.
The door is unlocked.
Your name is already on the list.

All that’s left is for you to walk through it.

And you do that by letting go of the question of worthiness—and committing to the process that will make you worthy.

Here’s an example I love:

Think of someone who hits the lottery.

They get lucky. They didn’t earn the money. And because they never developed the skills or identity needed to manage that wealth… they usually lose it just as fast.

But now think of someone else—someone who builds a successful business or career from scratch.  Someone who makes every mistake in the book along the way… but keeps learning, keeps growing, and refuses to quit.

That person became worthy.

Their success was forged through effort, failure, growth, and consistency.

And you will too.

You're not unworthy. You're just becoming worthy.

And if you keep going…
If you keep learning…
If you keep submitting to the long game…

You won’t just reach your goal.
You’ll own it.
And you’ll keep it.

Because you earned it the right way.

Failure Isn’t the End—It’s the Next Essential Clue

We’ve been taught to fear failure.

But every successful person—whether in fitness, business, relationships—has failed more times than they can count.

The key is this:

👉 Don’t treat failure as a verdict. Treat it as feedback.

When I started running, I got hit with back-to-back ankle tendon flare-ups.

Old me would’ve said, “Guess I’m not built for running.”

But instead, I asked: “What can I learn from this?”

I upgraded my shoes. Got insoles. Studied running form.
Now? I’m running faster and farther than I was before.

The “failure” was a clue. A nudge. An opportunity.

Will there be other mistakes, obstacles, injuries, and challenges I will encounter as I pursue my goal of running Ultramarathon distances of 50, 100, or even 250 miles someday?  

YOU BET!

Mistakes and other "failures" show you where the next layer of growth is.

But the growth only happens when you seek do learn from the experience. 

But if you fear failing, you'll avoid failing, which means you end up taking yourself out of the game altogether.  

And you can't get good enough at a game to win at it if you won't allow yourself to play in the first place.  

So don’t fear failing.

Fear staying stuck because you refused to learn from it.

Discipline Is Love

When we discipline our kids, it’s not punishment—it’s love.

We want them to grow strong, grounded, resilient, productive, etc.

But what happens when we become adults and no one is there to discipline us and guide us in that way anymore?

Well, for many people in the world who don't realize the connection between discipline and love, the become BOTH undisciplined...and lacking any real sense of self love and confidence.

As adults must become self-disciplining—not as punishment, but as our one and only source of self-love and confidence.

• Waking up early so you can practice self care = self-love

• Logging off and going to bed so you can get good rest = self-love

• Walking instead of doomscrolling = self-love

• Ordering a nourishing meal at the restaurant = self-love

Discipline is how we show ourselves that we matter.

Sure, others in our lives will AT TIMES send us signals that we matter to them and are loved, but we can't control if, when, or how that will happen.  

But we have the power to love ourselves through self discipline every single moment, of every single day.  

And it is interesting...because when others see someone who is disciplined and confident, they respect and are more drawn to that person as a result.  

Many people think they need self-love first, then they’ll be disciplined.

But it’s actually the opposite:

👉 Discipline is what builds self-love and confidence.

When we act in alignment with our goals, we affirm our value and reinforce our worth.

That’s why it’s called self love.

No one else can do this for you.

If you want to have more self love and confidence...it starts by doing the hard things you've been avoiding, because you are worth it.  

Comfort Is Killing You

Speaking of hard things...

We’ve become addicted to comfort.

And it’s slowly stealing our health, resilience, and joy.

There’s a generational cycle worth remembering:

Hard times → lead to strong people
Strong people → lead to good times
Good times → lead to weak people
Weak people → lead to hard times

Our parents and grandparents are known as being the gritty generation that worked their butts off and won two back to back world wars.  

Yeah...they were strong through some REALLY hard times!  And what followed those hard times were some of the most amazing decades and booms in history. 

Now?  I truly believe we’re in the “good times → weak people” phase.

And we see it in the decline of physical fitness, the rise of anxiety and depression, and the cultural celebration of ease.

But here’s the truth:

👉 Growth only comes through discomfort.

Muscles grow by being broken down.

Confidence grows by doing hard things.

Relationships grow through difficult conversations.

Fat loss requires restraint, even when it’s inconvenient.

If you value comfort more than growth, you will not grow.

And if you do not grow, you will never overcome the obstacles between you and the life you desire.

But when you pursue discomfort—daily—you start to expand.

You build resilience aka your tolerance for discomfort. 
You build strength.
You build character.

You unlock the version of yourself who can carry the life you really want.

Change Your Values, Change Everything

You've heard me mention "values" a lot in this newsletter...here is why. 

We make hundreds of decisions every day.

But we don’t weigh each one carefully — we act based on our values.

Your values are your default settings...your programming.

As we experience the ups and downs of life throughout the years and the decades, we accumulate beliefs and values without even thinking of it.  

Those beliefs and values we collect drive the majority of our decision making and behavior, despite the fact that most people never stop to even think about what they belief or what they truly value in life.  

So it is important to realize that whether or not you define your values and beliefs intentionally or not…they’re still running your life — just on autopilot.

At Healthy & Whole, we help clients intentionally define their beliefs and their values to match the person they want to become.

Because you can’t build a disciplined lifestyle on top of a comfort-driven identity.

If you value comfort over most things, even success, then your desire will for comfort will override your desire to do the things you need to do in order to achieve your health goals (or any other goal).  

Once your values shift...
Your decisions shift.
Your identity shifts.
Your whole life shifts.

How do you shift your values?  

Well, you start by sitting down and thinking about it intentionally for probably the first time ever.  

It can be as simple as sitting down with your journal and just making a list of value statements that describe the person you want to be.  

There are some really good books that can provide you with frameworks and routines for identity shifting as well.

📚 If you need a starting point, I recommend:

• The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

Both are books that can help you clarify your values and install new, empowering ones quickly.

Here are a few of my own values statements I live by:

1. I value pursuing discomfort over comfort.

2. I value prioritizing optimal health daily.

3. I value choosing what’s best for my health, not what helps me fit in.

4. I value inspiring others with my discipline (and my self-love).

5. I value showing myself love through food, movement, and boundaries.

If you change your values, you change your life. Period.

Asking for Help Is Wisdom, Not Weakness

Since we are talking about values...

Want an example of a belief that many pick up in life without even knowing it?  How about the belief that asking for help is weak.

Somewhere along the way, we got the idea that needing help is weak.

That we’re supposed to figure it all out alone.  To be "self-sufficient"

But the most successful people in the enire world — those who grow the fastest — don’t try to do it solo.

They find mentors. Coaches. Guides.

They don't just find them, they find them FIRST.  

Why first?  Because they are wise enough to know that while they COULD try to figure it out all on their own, they could get the results way faster and with less heartache if they simply turn to people who already know what to do and how to do it.  

They seek out those who’ve been there, learned the lessons, made the mistakes… and can help them avoid unnecessary struggle.

They realize that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.

They see it as a sign of wisdom.

The only thing stopping most people from asking for help?

👉 Ego.

But once you let go of that?

You unlock support, growth, and results you could never get on your own.

It Isn't Sexy...But It Works

I get it.

This wasn’t the most “clickable” newsletter edition.

No hacks. No sexy recipes. No 3-step abs.

But these mindset shifts?

They’re everything.

If even one of these landed with you, I hope you hold onto it. Let it become a guiding principle in your journey.

Next week, I’ll bring something a little more fun 😉

Until then — stay consistent, stay curious, and stay in the game.

— Matt

When you're ready, here's how I can help:

If you're looking to lose weight sustainably while building a flexible lifestyle that you enjoy, I can help.   Apply for coaching here in the Healthy & Whole Mentorship Program.  

Disclaimer: This email is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician.